Author Archives: sanerthanlasagna

Dating advice for young people

Any moment you spend anxiously worrying about what you are going to text them is a moment you are not having fun. Have fun. Instead of anxiously pouring over messages realize that life is short and there are lots of … Continue reading

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Fallacy of the slipped bike chain:

I tell people that I used to be socially abysmal. And it’s true that I was ostracized, bullied, and heavily disliked as a kid. It’s also true that I taught myself social skills by paying close attention to subtext, and … Continue reading

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Conflict

Eloise and I have all sorts of complicated conflict resolution norms: – You aren’t allowed to criticize people’s preferences, only their actions. – If someone is crying, you have to console them before anything else even if you think they are … Continue reading

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Honesty

I’m against honesty fundamentalism—the idea that lying is always immoral. (Now if I wanted to make my life easy, I’d just talk about lying to save lives. But I don’t want to make my life easy.) Here are two considerations … Continue reading

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Jewishness and Gender

When I get asked, “Sam are you Jewish?” I often go, “Do you mean culturally, religiously, or genetically?” Why? Because I’m a pedant, but also because my answer depends on what the person wants to know. – I’m somewhat culturally … Continue reading

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Emotions

When is criticizing other people’s emotions appropriate? Is it ever appropriate? Should you criticize someone who’s upset about a small thing? Should you criticize someone who’s afraid of non-poisonous spiders? Should you criticize a pedophile for being attracted to children? Someone who’s … Continue reading

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Talking

I hate when people say, “The problem with politics is there is too much talking and not enough action.” It’s too safe. It doesn’t commit the person to any particular course of action. Specific proposals might be controversial, but “doing … Continue reading

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